Meanwhile in Brazil: Arch Linux has to suspend access from Brazil because kids could use Arch Linux, or something, and something about pedophiles.

I actually have no idea what the politicians are even saying anymore. It's all bullshit and it's fucking over FOSS.

To avoid confusion, I'm not positioning myself as like, the authority figure on who is an expert and who isn't an expert in cybersecurity.

My point is that cybersecurity tends to be very close and tight-knit and you would expect someone world-renowned to be immediately identifiable by someone else who works in the industry.

My post is meant to be funny and criticize TV people

tl;dr normie to big stinky nerd translator

I'm going to share something embarrassing, but this is true. I have found a good usage of AI (for me, at least).

I'm a big stinky nerd and I have a hard time understanding what people are saying to me. I am an extremely explicit communicator. I usually say exactly what I mean (for better or worse). I get very confused when people imply something, or lean heavily on emotional phrasing, to implicitly communicate.

I have been unironically using AI to explain what people are saying to me. I'll detail the conversation to the best of my ability if it was communicated verbally, if it was online I copy-paste my message and the persons response (or comment). The silly AI slop robot then translates what the person says into explicit communication for me so I understand better.

Basically, the dumb ass slop machine robot is better at understanding humans than me. Sometimes I have zero idea what someone is talking about or trying to convey.

Malware defense stuff is boring and I respect these AV and/or EDR nerds so much for working on this stuff.

I've spent the past few days really locking in on developing an ETW consumer and using the YARA static analysis engine in conjunction with it.

It is all documented. It is easy-ish to follow. It all makes sense. Even the more "hardcore" stuff like the kernel mode callback routines and minifilters are handed to you on a silver platter with tons of documentation and examples from Microsoft.

These AV and/or EDR nerds unironically have to spend their days monitoring microscopic potential edge cases for malware evasion and then making a tiny little change in code to account for it. If they don't account for this tiny little potential attack vector they're criticized and insulted endlessly.

Conversely, this tiny line of code they've added burns the hours of research I've placed into developing something.

Malware defense stuff is pretty much just standing by the front door with a really big stick waiting for someone to walk in, bonking them on the head with it, and then throwing their unconscious body back outside ... forever and ever ... until you're dead or retire.

Someone sent me a malware sample they found on Discord. I'll tell you one thing right now, Chat. StealIt is a colossal pain in the fucking ass to reverse engineer.

I was crashing out on Xitter for a second about it. This thing is soooo annoying. It is super evasive because of their GOD DAMN SEA BLOBS AND NODE JS BULLSHIT

RIP Chuck Norris

I'll never forget all the goofy jokes you inspired

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information

November, 2024 weight:
285lbs
129.2kg

March, 2026
226lbs
102.5kg

After my son was born I fell off the weight loss wagon due to sleep deprivation and exhaustion from baby stuff. I got back on it.

I feel a lot better since losing so much weight. Health and science and stuff

> be IT
> new hardware comes in
> need to image 2000 new DELLs
> protect kids from pedos law drops
> id verification at OS level
> enter my ID for 2000 PCs
> FBI raids office building
> everyone arrested
> everyone was using pc with my ID
> all arrested for identity theft

this is how i imagine ID verification at OS level working in enterprise environments. it haunts me (it makes me giggle)

Claude, raise my children. Make no mistakes.

> wake up
> take a shit
> get out of bed
> baby screaming
> see whats wrong
> mad as hell cause hungry
> feed him
> hes eepy
> snuggle him
> headbutts face
> busts my lip
> ow
> calm down
> snuggle him
> rips glasses off my face
> bends my glasses
> laughs in my suffering
> get glasses back
> he shits his pants
> try to clean up
> angry at me because ???
> new fresh diaper on
> holding him
> slaps my face
> tries to put fingers in my nose
> put him down
> crawls to plants
> tries to eat dirt
> take away dirt
> mad as hell because wont let eat dirt
> calm him down
> shits pants again some how
> try to change him
> mad because ???
> rolls around bed
> poop stamps from ass cheeks on bed
> wrestle him
> calm him down
> new diaper again
> put him in walker to prepare breakfast
> runs over my toes
> ow
> pulls spatula off table
> chases dog around kitchen with spatula
> take away spatula
> mad as hell again
> pick him up to calm him down
> kicks me in testicles

anyway, thats been my sunday so far with a 1 year old

Meanwhile in San Francisco: random startup nerd thinks he ran into CEO of YCombinator at Chipotle, was actually just some random Asian guy. Random Asian guy apparently goes along with it. CEO of YCombinator breaks the bad news

Me at BSides doing a talk on cybersecurity

Context: