Ladies, what's preventing you from wearing these? Be honest

me when the feds show up asking why ive got 30tb of malware

Hello,

For the past 6 years I've had people ask if I will be attending DEFCON. The answer is still: No. However, I may make an appearance at DEFCON 35 or DEFCON 36. It will also be the first cybersecurity conference I've ever attended. Cool beans

Thanks,
- smelly smellington

"Leave our customers alone!!!1" — VMPSoft, probably

Politics aside — will this impact the cybercrime ecosystem? If the Russian Federation establishes a friendship with the United States, will we see an impact on ransomware groups?

inb4 no

mfw I roll back a snapshot

Home remodeling project going pretty well

Coinbase was compromised December 26th, 2024. Initially it was reported they were compromised in early to mid-May.

The (to the best of our knowledge) unidentified Threat Actors(s) maintained persistent access for nearly 6 months.

smh took christmas off then went back to crime. some ppl got zero holiday spirit fr

Chat, I'm going to be that guy for a second.

Maybe, and this is just speculation, but just maybe it was a poor decision by Coinbase to out source labor to 3rd world South Asian workers whom they exploit momentarily?

What if Coinbase hired people, treated them well, and didn't exploit them monetarily? Hmmmmm?

Maybe someone is more likely to accept a bribe when a multi million dollar company is only paying them $70/month - $160/month

Some governments did a thing and fucked up Lumma stealer, they seized like, I don't know, a bunch of stuff and sent customers messages about something scary

There is my detailed report on Operation Endgame. I couldn't have gotten more exact figures, attached some pictures, and made the post longer. But I've got a newborn baby heap spraying milk out his face and I'm just standing in the corner, on my phone, in terror as more mature people in my home deal with the situation

> qakbot dude indicted
> lumma stealer memed by feds
> lumma stealer taken down
> coinbase hacked
> ransomware group releases edgy video
> cryptothieves got rico charges
> new cool malware research

yo CHILL OUT. just STOP. timeout. pause. WAIT a second

Today law enforcement agencies across the globe decided to meme the Threat Actors behind DanaBot. The multi-agency operation decided to announce the takedown, and indictments, by releasing an anime trailer 😭

Hello,

This is your semi-daily reminder that we are super-AFK. Despite our absenteeism we are still ingesting data. However, things are not being pushed to prod. Here is where we currently are:

1. Bradley and I are still AFK. He is acting as his Father's primary caretaker due to poor health. I am busy dealing with a newly deployed human being (baby was born).

2. We are still ingesting malware despite being gone thanks to petikvx. Our backlog is colossal, millions upon millions of malware samples in queue for prod.

3. We did an oopsie, we allocated 20TB of storage on our servers and we exceeded that. We have allocated an additional 20TB, but it isn't properly configured (yet). Hence, we have millions of malware samples floating in limbo waiting for their final resting place... but it doesn't exist yet (kind of). If I can get more time away from my newly created human being then I can finalize the configurations for new malware being pushed. I don't know when I can do that. My free time is random and is primarily used for screaming in the restroom or sleeping.

4. We have continued paper ingestion. As said in bulletin point three, we have the stuff but we don't have the science. When I have free time I will push tons of cool papers.

5. There is something else I intended to announce and share here during my spare time. I can't remember it right now, but I'm sure it was cool and interesting. If I can remember it I'll post about it.

I hope everyone had a good week and has a good weekend.

Thanks,
- smelly