My professor accused me of trying to seduce him
It happened in 2024 during my last year of university, but I've never forgotten.
I was presenting something for an oral exam, and I've never been comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. I played with my hair a lot, and that day, I wore tight clothes I felt confident in. It was just to make ME feel better about speaking in front of the whole auditorium.
But when I saw the professor later and discussed my presentation, he accused me of trying to seduce him to get a better grade. He said I behaved "indecently" while presenting and that my body language was seductive. This made me feel so gross.
I felt disgusting for weeks after that. The idea that anyone could just sexualize me felt absolutely repulsive. I hate that he reduced all my efforts to that. Why are some people so gross?
https://redd.it/1rzd02l
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It happened in 2024 during my last year of university, but I've never forgotten.
I was presenting something for an oral exam, and I've never been comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. I played with my hair a lot, and that day, I wore tight clothes I felt confident in. It was just to make ME feel better about speaking in front of the whole auditorium.
But when I saw the professor later and discussed my presentation, he accused me of trying to seduce him to get a better grade. He said I behaved "indecently" while presenting and that my body language was seductive. This made me feel so gross.
I felt disgusting for weeks after that. The idea that anyone could just sexualize me felt absolutely repulsive. I hate that he reduced all my efforts to that. Why are some people so gross?
https://redd.it/1rzd02l
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Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
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Partner Kissed Me After Hooking Up With Another Person
My (28f) partner (27m) of nearly 3 years had a date last night. We’re new to poly, I’ve never been in a poly relationship before. They hooked up which obviously no biggie. He came home and started kissing me hello immediately without thinking and that’s how I found out they hooked up because I smelled her on his face. I am repulsed, angry, and feel totally violated. It was an accident, he didn’t think about it until I made a face, and has apologized profusely and continues to apologize into today.
I know it was an accident, he made a mistake, but I still feel sooooo grossed out and upset with my partner. The fact I smelled another woman’s vagina on my boyfriend’s face will gross me out until the end of time. I want to forgive him and move on but am still so upset and uncomfortable and don’t even want him to touch me I’m so grossed out by him.
Can we come back from this? An engagement ring has been bought (and I think he was going to propose soon) but this feels like this put a serious halt to that entire process. We have a couple’s therapist, and I’m thinking we make an appointment asap, but that could still take 2-3 weeks.
How do I begin to forgive him for this? Any advice is appreciated, or stories of similar and how you worked through it.
Edit: yes we have a boundary set of showering in between partners. When I say “new” to poly, we’re both in our first poly relationship. We were polyamorous after a few months of dating, we had a scandal, and closed our relationship. We opened again about a yearish ago, so we’ve only been practicing for a bit over a year, so it still feels new. Sorry if there was any confusion there
Edit 2: I hear you guys, I’ve scheduled therapy for myself as well as my partner scheduling for himself. I appreciate all the advice and comments. I may be having a bit of an overreaction over an accident and I am looking inwards about it, but I do still feel gross about the ordeal. Idc if he’s sleeping with someone or not, smelling someone’s genitals without consent was alarming and really off putting. I am sensitive to smells, and it really just triggered me. Thanks again y’all!
https://redd.it/1rz6pd0
@reddit_pride
My (28f) partner (27m) of nearly 3 years had a date last night. We’re new to poly, I’ve never been in a poly relationship before. They hooked up which obviously no biggie. He came home and started kissing me hello immediately without thinking and that’s how I found out they hooked up because I smelled her on his face. I am repulsed, angry, and feel totally violated. It was an accident, he didn’t think about it until I made a face, and has apologized profusely and continues to apologize into today.
I know it was an accident, he made a mistake, but I still feel sooooo grossed out and upset with my partner. The fact I smelled another woman’s vagina on my boyfriend’s face will gross me out until the end of time. I want to forgive him and move on but am still so upset and uncomfortable and don’t even want him to touch me I’m so grossed out by him.
Can we come back from this? An engagement ring has been bought (and I think he was going to propose soon) but this feels like this put a serious halt to that entire process. We have a couple’s therapist, and I’m thinking we make an appointment asap, but that could still take 2-3 weeks.
How do I begin to forgive him for this? Any advice is appreciated, or stories of similar and how you worked through it.
Edit: yes we have a boundary set of showering in between partners. When I say “new” to poly, we’re both in our first poly relationship. We were polyamorous after a few months of dating, we had a scandal, and closed our relationship. We opened again about a yearish ago, so we’ve only been practicing for a bit over a year, so it still feels new. Sorry if there was any confusion there
Edit 2: I hear you guys, I’ve scheduled therapy for myself as well as my partner scheduling for himself. I appreciate all the advice and comments. I may be having a bit of an overreaction over an accident and I am looking inwards about it, but I do still feel gross about the ordeal. Idc if he’s sleeping with someone or not, smelling someone’s genitals without consent was alarming and really off putting. I am sensitive to smells, and it really just triggered me. Thanks again y’all!
https://redd.it/1rz6pd0
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Reddit
From the polyamory community on Reddit
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I really love being queer. 🌈🩷💜💙
I’d choose to be a sapphic woman in every lifetime.
https://redd.it/1rzdgy0
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I’d choose to be a sapphic woman in every lifetime.
https://redd.it/1rzdgy0
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Is it very important to my mom?
Well, my mom is a trans woman. As far as I understand, she's actually my mom's biological sister and adopted me when I was very little. I say this because she's always been my mom. I don't really have any memories of my "real mother," and I'm not that interested in them. I also want to clarify that my mom has always been my MOM, meaning that when she took me in, she'd already been transitioning for years. So, I spent several years of my life without knowing my mom was trans. Of course, there were factors, like her being taller than other moms and maybe her voice being a little different, but I never suspected it. She told me when I was 12. When she told me, I think it hurt more to learn that she wasn't my biological mother than that she was trans, but I'm still working on it (I'm feeling better now). But a few days ago, while joking around with my friends, we made jokes about a trans girl at school, and in my stupidity, even though I didn't make fun of her, I admit that at the time I didn't think, and I even laughed (I know). (which was wrong), they found out at school, called my mom, and told her about it. When I got home, she was locked in her room, and now she's not talking to me. I never thought I'd be part of this kind of community because I didn't think being trans was such a big deal to my mom (I thought it was just a characteristic of her, that's all). So, was what I did really that bad? What can I do to fix this? I love my mom, and she's the sweetest person I know, and now that she's cold to me, it makes me feel awful, (And I want to clarify that I feel terrible for laughing at the girl)
https://redd.it/1rzmmn6
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Well, my mom is a trans woman. As far as I understand, she's actually my mom's biological sister and adopted me when I was very little. I say this because she's always been my mom. I don't really have any memories of my "real mother," and I'm not that interested in them. I also want to clarify that my mom has always been my MOM, meaning that when she took me in, she'd already been transitioning for years. So, I spent several years of my life without knowing my mom was trans. Of course, there were factors, like her being taller than other moms and maybe her voice being a little different, but I never suspected it. She told me when I was 12. When she told me, I think it hurt more to learn that she wasn't my biological mother than that she was trans, but I'm still working on it (I'm feeling better now). But a few days ago, while joking around with my friends, we made jokes about a trans girl at school, and in my stupidity, even though I didn't make fun of her, I admit that at the time I didn't think, and I even laughed (I know). (which was wrong), they found out at school, called my mom, and told her about it. When I got home, she was locked in her room, and now she's not talking to me. I never thought I'd be part of this kind of community because I didn't think being trans was such a big deal to my mom (I thought it was just a characteristic of her, that's all). So, was what I did really that bad? What can I do to fix this? I love my mom, and she's the sweetest person I know, and now that she's cold to me, it makes me feel awful, (And I want to clarify that I feel terrible for laughing at the girl)
https://redd.it/1rzmmn6
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‘I will not comply’: Tennessee librarian refuses to move LGBTQ+ books
https://www.advocate.com/politics/states/rutherford-library-director-refusal?1
https://redd.it/1rztp8u
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https://www.advocate.com/politics/states/rutherford-library-director-refusal?1
https://redd.it/1rztp8u
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Advocate.com
‘I will not comply’: Tennessee librarian refuses to move LGBTQ+ books
Rutherford County library director Juanne James’s stand against a vote to relocate more than 190 titles draws national support as the board weighs firing her.