Diagnosed with ADHD at 31 but I still think it might be wrong

I got diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type at 31 and I still question it.

Part of me feels like it explains a lot, but another part keeps thinking what if it’s wrong. I’ve always functioned relatively well and I don’t really fit the typical ADHD stereotype.

I also have a good IQ, so sometimes I wonder if I’ve just been compensating or if it could actually be something else like anxiety or just my personality.

Did anyone else feel like this after a late diagnosis?

https://redd.it/1rytdcb
@r_adhd

I have ADHD and this stupid “one line” trick is the only thing that helps me start working

I’ve always struggled to focus.

I was diagnosed with ADD in high school, and starting and finishing tasks has always been the hardest part.

When I was in university, I discovered the Pomodoro technique and started going to the library to use it.

That was the first thing that actually worked for me.

Years later I read the book Deep Work and tried something even simpler:

Every time I managed to focus for \~30-60 minutes, I drew one line in a notebook.

That’s it.

No complicated system
No pressure to “have a perfect day”

Just:
do one session → draw one line

After a while my pages would look something like this:

Jan 1 to Jan 15: ||||| ||||| ||||
Jan 16 to Jan 22 ||||| ||||| ||||| ||

Weirdly, this made it much easier to start.

Because instead of thinking:
“I need to work all day”

I’d just think:
“let me try to get one line”

And once I started, I often kept going and ended up doing 2–3 sessions.

After a while I had pages full of these marks, which felt more motivating than any app I tried.

It’s stupid, but it worked better than anything else for me.

For people who struggle with starting tasks:
How do you actually get yourself to start when you really don’t feel like it?

https://redd.it/1ryxbzz
@r_adhd

Deep and debilitating empathy for objects.

I have had this for as long as I can remember.

I’m 20, and I was diagnosed when I was 19. So I’m just now starting to try and understand myself.

In my mind, every single object, even food, has a soul, feelings, and can get hurt.

Deep down I know they don’t. But my brain keeps trying to convince myself they do. And it’s a curse.

My empathy for them is so strong that I struggle to throw away a used toothbrush. I see it as a betrayal of a loyal friend who will then cry alone and suffer in the trash.

I bawled my eyes out when I cooked a puree that ended up bad, and I had to throw it away. My mind was imagining the potatoes excited for a chance to be eaten and now they went to the trash without that chance.

I can’t get rid of old clothes because it feels like a betrayal. My room is full of stuff because I can’t get rid of my old things.

I recently lost a pair of shorts and my mind keeps picturing it scared and alone somewhere.

This is a nightmare. Please, does anyone else have this/know how to make it less painful?

https://redd.it/1ryxmsg
@r_adhd

I don't know.

Is anyone else angry/frustrated/grumpy/empty/lonely all the time? I'm just angry at myself and angry at the world. I'm getting sick and tired of everything as the time goes on, I'm always questioning the meaning of all of this, always seeking anything that makes me feel something and failing.

https://redd.it/1ryyqrz
@r_adhd

The moment I realized my ADHD brain doesn't need more discipline — it needs external structure that it can't argue with

I spent years trying to fix my focus problem the wrong way. More willpower. Earlier wake-ups. Stricter schedules. Beating myself up every time I failed to stick to something for more than three days.



What I never understood until recently is that willpower is exactly the wrong tool for an ADHD brain. My brain doesn't fail because it's lazy or weak. It fails because it's fighting a system that was never designed for it.



The shift happened when I stopped trying to be "more disciplined" and started asking: how do I set up conditions where discipline isn't required at all?



A few things that actually worked for me:



Making the escape route harder than the task. I used to fight Instagram and YouTube with willpower. I lost every time. When I made them actually unavailable during work blocks — not just limited, genuinely gone — the urge would come, find nothing, and eventually pass. The friction has to be real.



Having something external hold the intention. This one surprised me. When I write down before a session exactly what I'm doing and for how long, and then have something check in with me after — even if it's just a note to myself — I'm much less likely to drift. It's not about the note. It's about having made the commitment visible outside my own head.



Body doubling. Working silently alongside other people (even strangers on a video call) changed my output dramatically. I don't know why it works. It just does. Something about not being alone with my brain.



None of this is revolutionary. But for me the reframe from "try harder" to "design better conditions" was everything.



Curious if others with ADHD have found similar things — or completely different ones. What's your version of "external structure that you can't argue with"?

https://redd.it/1rz2v4p
@r_adhd

Thought Strattera wasn't working, until I stopped taking it

Was on 40mg strattera for about 4 months, felt like it did absolutely nothing and that Ritalin was way more helpful but I hated the crash at the end. Switched up to 80mg and felt it still wasn't doing anything. Given that it's so expensive I decided to just stop taking it about 2 months ago and omg only now do I feel the difference.

Turns out you stop feelings the effects way quicker than you start feeling them (which took so long that I didn't even notice the change). I didn't even realise that at some point I had gradually started being able to sit down in front of the computer and complete tasks at work, and then cook a healthy lunch and tidy up after myself. I have no idea at which point I started studying in my spare time. I only realised I was doing these things when I stopped taking Strattera and as a result suddenly stopped doing them

Last week I missed an extremely important appointment that I'd been waiting 4 years for, and then when I paid the price of a kidney to rebook, for whatever reason I thought it was going to be later than it actually was and only realised my mistake when my lawyer reminded me

Needless to say, today I started on Strattera again. Started on the very long and gradual road towards seeing its results. Sharing this in case anyone else is on it and feels like it's pointless :) At least in my personal case, it turned out to have been very quietly fixing my life

https://redd.it/1rz22n3
@r_adhd

ADHD paralysis all day preventing me from showering

I just want to vent a bit and feel less alone. Is this relatable? I don’t shower as much as I should because I honestly hate doing it. But the most frustrating part is when I have a day off of work, and my only productive goal for the day is to take a shower, sometimes I stay in bed all day trying to find the motivation to go take a shower. Usually I can begrudgingly use will power to finally do it but also some days I just spend the entire day thinking about showering, looking for a way to be motivated, but it never comes. I scroll on my phone or watch YouTube and eventually the sun goes down and the day is over then it’s time to sleep and I have done nothing all day and I’m still stinky. I’ll avoid my hobbies like crochet, knitting, piano, or video games the whole day because if I get caught up doing something I won’t shower, but then I don’t end up showering anyway so I might as well have done something else.

Does this make sense to you guys? I could explain the reasons why I hate showering but that’s not really the point of this post. It’s the fact that I waste my day trying to pump myself up to do something I hate then end up not doing the thing I hate while also avoiding the things I like to do.

https://redd.it/1rz516g
@r_adhd

Severe fatigue, adderall doesn’t work. I can’t live like this anymore.

I need someone to help me. Doctors keep telling me I’m fine because all of my blood work is normal. Normal thyroid, normal iron, etc. I cannot live like this anymore. I can sleep non stop if I wanted to. No matter how much sleep I get it isn’t enough. I’m too weak to even sit up anymore. I can’t get any tasks done, I can’t clean and can barely take care of myself. Standing is too hard. Adderall used to give me a boost to help me take care of important things and now it isn’t working. I graduated from school in December and I thought I was just dealing with burn out, 3 months later and things have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE. I’ve laid on my couch for weeks now, completely useless. I literally can’t take it anymore. I want to feel better and nothing is working. If anyone here has experienced something like this and found a solution, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I WILL TRY ANYTHING.

https://redd.it/1rz6o3a
@r_adhd

Did anyone succeed in making your “Human Kibble”?

As with most of us, I have a hard time eating on time and when I do get hungry, I am so ravenous I go for the first tasty think I can reach. Which is usually unhealthy and/or expensive. Theres a lot of talk about how wouldn’t it be perfect if there was a “human kibble” that we can eat for most meals so we wouldn’t have to think about it lol. Obviously nutrition needs are tailored to the person, but I was wondering if anyone was actually able to achieve their go-to food that meets (nearly) all of their requirements.

Low prep time, (preferably) no dishes to clean, tasty most importantly. I find myself focusing more on fiber intake than protein these days, as a close family member got diagnosed with colon cancer recently and it only makes me more anxious and aware of what I’m eating. Please share any suggestions or hacks you were able to think of!

https://redd.it/1rz4zaa
@r_adhd

Guanfacine changed my life

Just wanted to make a positive post talking about how much my ADHD symptoms have improved on guanfacine.

Basically I've been dealing with severe task paralysis for as long as I can remember (along other not-so-great symptoms, but the task paralysis has been the most disabling of them). I was prescribed various stimulants and am now on Foquest, but I seriously had not noticed any changes. When I spoke to my doctor about this he increased the dose, but it just made me anxious and very angry all the time. I had to go back to my original dosage.

Recently, I became curious why stimulant medication doesn't seem to work for me, and came upon reddit threads that suggested discussing non-stimulant ADHD medication with your doctor. THIS WAS LIFE CHANGING. I brought it up at my next appointment, and my doctor was like "yeah, let's try it" and he put me on guanfacine (alongside the Foquest).

The change is stark. I feel much more emotionally regulated, way less impulsive, and most importantly, i can actually start tasks. I still procrastinate occasionally, but it hasn't been remotely similar to the hours and hours of miserable task paralysis I dealt with before.

I am so glad I'm not "just lazy." I am so glad I did my research and asked about alternative options. Everything is different now.

https://redd.it/1rz8o2y
@r_adhd

Tell me you have ADHD w/o telling me…

I haven’t been able to open my mailbox for 2 weeks—just won’t turn. I tried everything I could think of. My neighbor walked by and I complained about it. I was so annoyed. Then I remembered that a month back the same thing had happened and then the super had done something to fix it that was really obvious. But I couldn’t for the life of me remember what she did so I texted her: “I can’t get my mailbox open. I remember a month ago you did something that worked that was really obvious but now I can’t remember what it was! Help!”

Today she sends the guy who does repairs to me. We go to mailbox. It won’t turn. He hacks at it with a tool until it opens. He fiddles with it. Says “You sure this is the right key?” This is when I realize. My super had said the same thing. And when she said it I had remembered that I had had her change the lock because the old one was broken—a few months back.

I run upstairs. Thank god the new key is right on the key rack. When this happened a month ago I had thought “you better switch the key right now before you forget!” Yeah….

It’s days like this I really wonder if I have dementia and/or am just truly an idiot.

https://redd.it/1rzb11n
@r_adhd

I just wish someone would listen and take an interest in what I talk about

I know I could talk for hours and it’s about stuff no one really cares about but like, people talk to me about shit I don’t care about but you know what I do? Sit and listen and ask questions because they care about it and I want them to know I care because they do!!! But when it’s my turn it’s “cool..anyway!! Back to MY THING” like…okay… and I don’t want to be like them so I listen

But I just want to be listened to…I have so many ideas I wanna talk about!! Is there any place where people will genuinely listen and talk about your ideas with you? I feel like I’m over looked in Discord servers so I’ve become very shy and posting here is hit or miss

Where to find a place where I can talk about my fanfiction ideas and OCs and ships and favourite things and someone/people will actually be interested? Lmaooo

https://redd.it/1rzan6j
@r_adhd

Did you do something you're proud of? Something nice happen? Share your good news with us!

What success have you had this week?

Did you ace your test? Get a new promotion at work? Finally, finished a chore you've been putting off? We want to hear about it! Let us celebrate your successes with you! Please remember to support community members' achievements and successes in the comments.

https://redd.it/1rzhprq
@r_adhd

Accidentally took my meds before bed

Like my title says, I accidentally took my meds before going to bed. I was tired and instead of reaching for my nighttime retainer, I picked up my pills instead. I also took some melatonin to maybe, hopefully counteract the stimulants?

I’ve got to get up early for work tomorrow morning and I hope I’ll be able to sleep now.

https://redd.it/1rzghbm
@r_adhd

Do you actually WANT to cook but ADHD makes it hard, or have you just accepted that cooking isn’t for you?

Honest question: do you actually want to cook, but ADHD gets in the way, or have you kind of accepted it’s not really your thing?

Where does it break down for people. If you do want to cook, what part is hardest: deciding what to make, getting started, losing focus halfway, or dealing with cleanup after?

https://redd.it/1rziq0q
@r_adhd

High Achievers with Severe ADHD, if any of you are reading this, how did you manage?

I just felt my whole life like I'm incapable of really changing. I tried a lot of things: dozens of different medications, strength training routines, diets and so on. But no matter what I do, I can not for the life of me do away with this most damming quality of mine: my utter unwillingness to do something that I find boring.

I know it is not the brightest idea to set my initial aspirations so high as to request an audience among those rarefied unicorns in our community, considering I can barely get the basics in order.

But I need something from someone who know what that struggle feels like, someone who managed to overcome their shortcomings, someone who manages to stay consistently competitive among people with "normal brains", in a world that is basically incompatible with ours.

I wish to achieve great things in my life, and I need to, because of the real needs of those that I love, to whom my greatest wish belongs: to offer real help in ways that aren't just words of affirmation. And I will need to do more than just a satisfactory job, more than a bare minimum for that.

Thanks in advance.

https://redd.it/1rzp9w7
@r_adhd

For anyone who is not sure about getting a diagnosis and treatment...

I recommend doing it! I spent about 10 years suspecting I had ADHD and did nothing about it. I was on the NHS waiting list for over 2 years, then I was fortunate enough to be able to afford a private diagnosis and treatment so I am now on medication. For me it has helped a lot and I only wish I had done it sooner. For anyone still on the waiting list, I am so sorry you're still waiting and I know how frustrating it is.

I'm not posting this to brag or rub it in to people who can't get treatment - i was just reflecting on where I was 10 years ago and I wish someone had encouraged me to go to the doctors rather than convince me that I was okay because "I'd managed okay for all this time, what difference will a diagnosis make?"

https://redd.it/1rzr6o6
@r_adhd

Partner doesn’t believe in ADHD meds and is threatening to leave if I don’t stop taking them

I (28 M) have had undiagnosed ADHD since high school but didn’t realize it until adulthood after getting fired from 2 jobs for careless mistakes.

Got tested and prescribed Adderall XR 15mg. I take it 4-5 days a week (mostly work days), and some days I only do half. The difference is literally night and day. For the first time in my life, I can actually function like a normal person, focus, and get stuff done. It’s also erased my anxiety.

My partner (together 10 months) suddenly has a huge issue with me taking meds. He says he doesn’t believe I “need a pill to be high functioning,” that he lives with a “clear, sober mind” and can tell when meds are changing someone’s personality. He thinks I’m using it as a coping mechanism instead of doing the “real work” to fix myself. He says when I take it I’m moody and tired (I tried explaining that’s usually from poor sleep, which happens to everyone, and when I sleep well I don’t notice any difference in how I act).

Now he’s escalated to basically calling me a drug addict and saying if I don’t start tapering off, he can’t stay in the relationship. He even said the only way he’ll keep talking to me is if I hand over my pills to him and he doles out a few a week until I’m off them completely. No one else I. My life has said this about me, and I think he has confirmation bias about it. One day he decided the meds are a problem and now any issue points to that.

This came out of nowhere and he knew I was on it from the beginning and it was never an issue before. I’m not abusing it, I don’t take it every day or recreationally. It’s just legit treatment that’s finally helping me succeed at work and life after struggling forever.

I understand it’s coming from a caring place, but it feels unfair and it’s really heavy. I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to go back to barely functioning just to keep the peace.

https://redd.it/1rztfth
@r_adhd

I can’t even remember tv shows I’ve binged more than once.

If someone has a conversation with me and mentions a specific moment in a show I’ve seen several times sometimes I have no clue what they’re talking about until I physically see it again. I feel like my brain is turning to mush. I can’t even remember things I enjoy. 😥

Also I can’t put words together to explain a plot to a show. I don’t know why. I can understand it and enjoy it but when someone asks me what it’s about I struggle to find the right words to describe it. Anyone struggle with this as well?

https://redd.it/1rzskhg
@r_adhd

This is truly a disability. The executive dysfunction is crippling.

I’ve dealt with ADHD and severe executive dysfunction my entire life, and it is truly crippling. The older I get, the worse it affects me, and the more it weighs on my mental health and my self-worth. My backlog of stuff I need to do just grows more and more every day, and the anxiety just compounds. No one understands. They say, “Just start with the small stuff”. “Just make a list.” “Delegate the household chores to your kids.” “Just hire someone to do it.” If only it were that easy. I’m a master at planning and making lists and delegating. I’ll spend hours and hours, and days upon days focused on planning and making lists; that’s the easy part, that’s the one thing that I am capable of focusing on and doing well. It all comes to a screeching halt when it comes time to put things into action. One thought leads to another. One action leads to a distraction. I know everyone thinks I’m just lazy, that I’m just making excuses. I thought that myself for the first 30+ years of my life. I wish that were the case. I do care what people think, but I’d be fine with them thinking I’m a lazy POS if that were the truth. I’m not a lazy POS. I’m a highly ambitious person with high hopes and big dreams. I want to do great things and leave a legacy for my children to be proud of. I want to be known for doing good and contributing to the world. I want to be successful and be wealthy. I know that I have the potential to accomplish all of those things, but ADHD has kept me from living up to my potential. I just want a way out of this lifelong rut, free from the constant anxiety and shame.

https://redd.it/1rzzykw
@r_adhd