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Stay safe with all the wildfires out there.

Over the holidays, a guy's mother in law was visiting. The man gets up in the morning and realizes his mother in law in the spare bedroom has passed away...

He calls up his son and says "Son, I need you to come here and give me a hand. Your grandmother has died in her sleep".
The son comes over to the house and together they lift her up and carry her down the stairs. Just as they reach the bottom of the stairs, the son loses his grip, and bumps her head on the floor. Miraculously the she wakes up and goes "You idiots!"
She ceaselessly reminds them of this for the next two years.
A few years later when the mother in law is visiting again, the old man gets up in the morning and realizes his mother in law really has passed away.
So he calls his son again. His son comes over, they lift her up and start to carry her down the stairs.
The man tells his son, "Be extra careful this time! Don't bump her head again"

Google this.. I'm alone with a white person. Then Google I'm alone with a black person.

I was recently diagnosed with a condition: when I see big boobs, I forget how to read.

The doctor calls it Titslexia. 💅🏼

@drypie removing a wasp nest.

One rainy night, a taxi driver spots an arm waving from the shadows of an alley down the block. As he rolls to a stop at the curb, a figure leaps into the cab and slams the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulls away, he is startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman in the back seat.



"Where to?" he stammers.

"Union Station," says the woman.

"You got it," he says, taking another long glance in the mirror.

The woman catches him staring at her and asks, "Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?"

"Well, lady, I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you're gonna pay your fare."

The woman spreads her legs, puts her feet up on the front seat, smiles at the driver and says, "Does this answer your question?"

Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asks, "Uh, got anything smaller?"