Failed Tories trying to revive their careers with Reform!

It's been ages since I did a series, so here's a new set of daily stories called Fairytales in under 1 minute!
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FAIRYTALES IN UNDER 1 MINUTE!
#1

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a nasty dangerous worldwide pandemic with a 99.9% survival rate! It terrified the sheeple so much, they stayed indoors wearing face nappies & even refused to meet friends & family! On the rare occasions they did venture outside to buy toilet rolls by the tonne, they kept several metres apart (even though the deceitful government told them only 2 metres was sufficient). Eventually, they took an experimental jab that was supposed to protect them from this awful disease but that ended up causing more harm & even deaths than the actual disease itself!
EVENTUALLY, PEOPLE OWNED NOTHING & LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER!

FAIRYTALES IN UNDER 1 MINUTE!
#2

ONCE UPON A TIME, catastrophic global warming caused sea levels to rise so significantly that the people like Al Gore, Barack Obama & John Kerry that raised this issue went out & bought beachfront properties! Places in southern Britain like Battle & Pevensey that were coastal settlements in Roman times are now several miles inland even though southeast England is apparently sinking! Sheeple became worried about their carbon footprint whilst the scumbags that perpetrated the hoax flew around in private jets.
EVENTUALLY, PEOPLE OWNED NOTHING & LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER!