There are two questions every comedian must ask himself when writing a joke:

1. Is it funny?

2. Will it end my career because it offends the most powerful-but-insecure people in the world who mitigate mockery at their expense by self-identifying as oppressed and powerless?

And married men are bachelors.

“Stay home, stay safe” turned out to mean, “Let cancer go undetected.”

https://notthebee.com/article/report-from-europe-shows-that-100-million-cancer-screenings-were-skipped-and-1-million-cases-were-completely-missed-because-of-covid-lockdowns-but-you-know-if-it-saves-just-one-life

This might actually end if girls refused to compete against male athletes.

https://www.libsoftiktok.com/p/biological-male-who-was-72nd-on-boys

If you’ve never seen surgery before, you might think the doctor is killing his patient when he’s actually cutting out tumors.

I worked hard outsourcing this essay to an affordable ghostwriter in Bengaluru, India. I hope you enjoy it.

https://wng.org/articles/dangerously-funny-1668639444

‘Twitter Is Dead,’ 300 Million People Post On Twitter

https://babylonbee.com/news/twitter-is-dead-300-million-people-post-on-twitter

We will need to be extremely hardcore to pull this off. It will mean working long hours at high intensity. Anyone who doesn’t like the sound of that should quit now.

"After almost eight months of the outlet being suspended on Twitter, having never given into deleting the offending tweets, The Babylon Bee suddenly reappeared on Twitter Friday."

https://www.foxnews.com/media/the-babylon-bees-twitter-account-reinstated-elon-musk-suspension-transgender-joke-back

Tucker was a little nervous but relaxed a few minutes into the segment.

What a day.

No, we did not.

If they can prioritize same-sex marriage, gender confusion, and drag for kids, then I think it’s only fair for Candace to be able to say she has other priorities.

It is absolutely incitement if you think of incitement as anything said by a person you’d benefit from silencing.

Sam,

1. What’s an example of a dangerous lie?

2. Who decides what’s true?

3. Why is censoring a liar preferable to refuting him?

4. Can you think of any “lies” that turned out to be true?

5. Do Democrats ever lie, and should any who have be suspended?

Imagine thinking it’s more dangerous to let free people speak than it is to let platforms with unprecedented power exercise authoritarian control over who can speak and what they can say.

Your ideas are dangerous, Sam. But at least you’re free to express them and be challenged.

Incitement: the act of speaking while being disliked by Democrats.

I wasn't talking about Jews, @EladNehorai. Why would you assume I was? We were locked in Twitter jail for 8 months for a joke about radical gender ideology. Other comedians have been canceled, and even physically attacked, for similar crimes.

https://twitter.com/eladnehorai/status/1594257325648662528?s=46&t=eEUYqNk7zu5gQaY1Tq4LvA

"It may be looking back, say ten years from now, that one of the most consequential decisions in the history of Big Tech may have been Twitter's snap decision to ban the Babylon Bee." — Tucker Carlson

The Bee will hit 2 million followers soon. We had 1.5 million when Twitter first locked us up.

We now have more followers, reach, and revenue than ever before — not because we acquiesced, but because we stubbornly refused to bend the knee for tyrants.