We'll be seeing a lot of this in the near future.

I don’t know why everyone’s so concerned. Voting machines are programmed to “break” if too many Republicans use them. It’s a safeguard against the American people stealing the election.

By doing things now, you’re putting off procrastination.

I think extreme views like “men can’t get pregnant” and “it’s bad to mutilate kids” count as free speech. But I’m not a scientist or expert researcher, so I could be wrong.

Crist got crushed.

It’s incredible that Desantis somehow managed to both murder and motivate everyone in Florida.

Has democracy killed democracy yet?

lol

Did you work for Facebook in digital ads and need a new job? Do you think wokeness is stupid? If the answer is yes to both questions, let's talk.

I don't care about your race or gender and I won't use your preferred pronouns. Leading off with that silliness is disqualifying.

That was close.

For $8 a month we’ll keep working on a third joke.

https://babylonbee.com/plans

Violence occurs at children’s hospitals whenever a young girl has her healthy breasts or uterus surgically removed. Thankfully, our efforts are successfully reducing this violence and leading to laws that criminalize it.

Nearly a quarter of a million people have voted to NOT require medical care for infants born alive.

He deleted it.

And blocked me 😂

The bomb threat was fake. The surgeries on minors are real.

Boebert now leads by 1,229 votes.

I just learned that a fat guy won a women's beauty pageant.

He’s neither gay nor trans, so it’s okay to think his vile behavior is wrong.

We need your help to achieve this meaningless milestone.

https://www.youtube.com/thebabylonbee?sub_confirmation=1

You aren’t actually important if you aren’t being impersonated. It’s the new verified.

If some mental illnesses should be affirmed, why shouldn’t all? What’s the argument for selective affirmation?