Me: time to rest after a long day of working :)
My brain: you're broken

Lord give me the strength not to force a (more than a) decade long hyperfixation on my students they are not gonna enjoy Hamilton

Okay I am forcing a friend to watch it with me (this happens literally every two months)

"Why don't I put these shoes more often?"
Questions asked moments before slipping scratching my knee breaking my thights and showing my ass to an oblivious passerby

I lost some cheese how does that even happen

WHERE IS MY CHEESE

WHO ATE MY CHEESE I LIVE ALONE

I emptied my fridge twice where is it

I FOUND IT I FOUND IT IT WAS IN THE CLOSET (congrats on coming out)

Cheesegate made me lose followers. Talk about lactose intolerants :(