Being an eternal pessimist or getting a fell for it again award every time I'm silly enough to get excited about something, I don't like these options, these are bad options.

I made a little tiny 🍔
And he's happy to see you 😊

Scotland ❤️

"sleeping in" is when you sleep all day
But "sleeping out" is when you're homeless
Weird

After The Matrix came out all the mass shooters were dressed up like characters from The Matrix, then the brothers who made The Matrix trooned out and now all the mass shooters are trooned out... How can this possibly be a coincidence? What is going on here?

Find a woman who looks at you like the Italian curling team looks at that circle thing they slide rocks at

I wish I could smoke a pipe... But I lack the necessary aura

We used to be a real country

You guys want a fun fact, of course you do! Everyone loves a fun fact! On their near death beds when very old people are asked what age they'd return to if they could it is overwhelmingly between 33 and 37. According to the olds the best time isn't youth but prime adulthood, when you're doing as much as you can for the people you love. Isn't that just something

Adolf Hitler was the greatest man of the twentieth century

We won Gold in hockey and beat Canada. It's hard to look at this picture and not be Patriotic, the trick is to be proud of the nation's people and not the state

What do they know of Europe?