found an ayy in my backyard sirs

Deranged Posting has taken over my life.

It all started when I was talking to my friend and he showed me a funny cat photo. My brainwashed ass said “deranged cat” with a straight face. Then it got worse. I was listening to the radio in the car one day, and I had to resist the urge to say “deranged music” in front of my family even though the radio was playing the most basic music imaginable. Another time I ordered pizza and the cheese looked like semen- all I could think of was “deranged pizza” or “deranged cheese” or whatever the fuck. Whenever I see two guys literally just standing next to each other, the only thing that comes to my mind is big oily men with juicy cheeks. I started distancing myself from society as I slowly descended into insanity. I can’t get this stupid fucking channel out of my head anymore. I haven’t left my room for 2 weeks now- although I’m uncertain, as I lost track of time (checking the time made me say “deranged clock” or “deranged watch”). I fear that whatever I lay my eyes upon, all I’ll be able to think about is the deranged version of any given thing. I don’t know how long I can do this for.