need someone to call me mommy so they have a reason to treat me for mother's day ;3

Fuck burger king tho

Saw one of my coworkers eating it and straight up told him "Who hurt you?"

at least it ain’t wendy’s

I've had this happen to me way too many times, got even accused of cheating in a polyamorous open body relationship 💀

Of hitting someone's car and even after showing pictures of my car (with no damage) to the people from the accusations they counter argued "Perhaps you just hit it and it just happened to not damage your car, even tho my door is caved in"