we go straight for the lions first. they are stretched out in the shade, barely moving, knowing everyone is here for them and they do not have to prove anything. i take at least ten pictures of the same lion doing absolutely nothing. yes i kept them all bleep. one of them yawns and i catch it mid open mouth and immediately decide it is the best photo i have ever taken. because IT REALLY IS. then i drag everyone closer for pictures even when no one asked. i get raven mid blink sorry my love, isla laughing at nothing as always, zephyrine looking like she belong in a completely different more serious place. lilith poses like every shot is planned and carmilla just stands there beautifully letting me orbit around them with my camera since it is a normal thing to do, i guess.. then i also take a selfie with the orang utan book that i impulsively bought on our way to the primates and everything gets louder and weirder. which makes it even better. they are climbing, staring, one of them looks directly into my camera. yes i guess it knows exactly what i am doing. i take that one too. of course i do. there is one sitting in a way that feels almost too human and it makes me laugh again, softer this time. my camera roll is a mess already. blurry shots, perfect ones, things that make no sense. i keep going anyway.

we drop onto the picnic blanket as if we have been personally defeated by the sun and walking, bags opening all at once like a small disaster. i am already reaching in before anything is properly set down. sandwiches, apples, drinks, something leafy that isla insists is necessary for balance which i ignore completely. raven brings sugar, of course, and also bento that they proud of, lilith somehow packs like a responsible adult, zephyrine lays things out like this is a curated display, and carmilla just watches me commit to eating. girl come close that eyes for seconds jeez. i do not pace myself. i take a bite out of something that might be mine or might not be and immediately feel ten times more alive. suddenly i am talking again, louder, faster, stealing food mid sentence, laughing with my mouth still half full. no one stops me which means they have accepted this version of me. at some point we end up making nonsense out of everything. and there is a tiny creature made out of acorns and leaves that looks like it could fight me and win. zephyrine and carmilla insists on tarot and spreads cards like we are about to uncover something life changing while i keep interrupting with terrible guesses. raven keeps laughing, isla pretends to take it seriously, lilith humors it for exactly five minutes, and carmilla just watches like they already know the outcome. we walk again after, slower, the light softer now. i climb something i probably should not just because i can. no one is surprised. when we finally leave, i look back once, mouth still sweet, hands still full of the day, and think yeah that was worth it.

we get on transit and immediately turn it into our own little corner. all of us a little sun drunk and louder than necessary like the day did not drain us and just made us worse in the best way. i pull out whatever i have and start fixing my face like it suddenly matters again. raven is already using the window as a mirror, isla somehow looks untouched by the entire day which feels unfair, lilith cleans up fast and neat like always, and zephyrine keeps commenting on everyone like they are judging a competition. carmilla sits next to me, quiet as always, watching me redo everything like i am about to debut somewhere important. girl damn. the reflection keeps moving with the train and i end up laughing at myself halfway through. it is not that serious but i still finish anyway. when we get off, the city feels different. lights are turning on, people are out, everything looks softer and brighter at the same time. we walk into the bistro like we belong there, no hesitation, just straight in and taking up space. the table gets messy fast. menus get ignored, drinks come first, and suddenly everyone is talking over each other again. i start it, obviously. i bring up everything from earlier, twisting stories just enough to make it funnier. raven adds more, isla acts like they were never part of it, lilith tries to keep things accurate for about two minutes before giving up, and zephyrine leans in like this is the most important conversation of the day. carmilla just listens, quiet but clearly entertained. the food shows up and i do not slow down. i eat, talk, laugh, all at once. it is loud, it is messy, and i love it. bon appétit.

we spill out into the street and everything is glowing like the city decided to show off for us. neon signs, headlights, random reflections in glass that make it look like there are more of us than there actually are. i walk in the middle of it all like i am part of the lights, bumping into raven on purpose just to hear their funny comments and reaction. isla keeps pulling out her phone every two steps and only god knows what she’s doing with that, lilith walks like she has somewhere to be but stays anyway, zephyrine points out every sign like it means something deeper (no it does not, she’s just too full to think), and carmilla stays close enough that i can feel it without checking. the air feels better now. cooler, easier. i keep talking, jumping from topic to topic, dragging everyone into whatever thought crosses my mind. no one escapes. not even carmilla. we reach the karaoke place and i do not even hesitate. i push the door open like i have been here a hundred times and i know exactly where i am going, which i do not lol but that has never stopped me. lights inside are louder than outside, music bleeding through walls, people laughing like they are competing for it. after minutes, we get a room and immediately make it worse. until someone hands me a mic and that is it. i start. no warm up, no thinking. i pick something loud, something familiar, something that lets me drag everyone in. raven joins halfway, isla pretends they will not then does, lilith resists for a while before giving in, zephyrine treats it like a full performance, and carmilla watches until i pull her in myself. drinks show up, songs keep changing, voices get worse and louder. we stay as obviously we stay. what a lovely evening.