вот вам пост от меня не моих фоток (спасибо любимой за прекрасные фотокарточки)
its been 1 seconds without deadlock and something is very wrong with me. i keep reopening the game like it’s a ritual, like if i do it enough times the servers will feel bad and come back. they don’t. they never do. the screen just sits there, calm and empty, mocking me. and every time i see the roster i remember that rem and billy are right there. technically existing. spiritually dead. unselectable. unreachable. trapped in a state between life and death because the servers are down.
i start pacing. i sit back down. i alt-tab. i refresh the status page. i refresh it again like the pixels might rearrange themselves out of pity. nothing changes. rem is dying in my imagination. billy too. not because of lore, not because of gameplay—because i am physically incapable of selecting them. i could have played. i should have played. i was ready. i was focused. and now all that energy has nowhere to go so it just turns inward and starts chewing on my brain.
i tell myself it’s fine. it’s just a game. then i reopen deadlock again. then again. then once more just to be sure. i don’t want another game. i don’t want to be productive. i don’t want to lie down. i want one very specific thing: to select rem or billy and queue like nothing is wrong. instead i’m sitting here watching time stretch and warp, convinced the outage is lasting longer specifically because i noticed it.
every second feels louder. every minute feels intentional. this isn’t maintenance anymore, it’s a test. a psychological experiment to see how many times someone will reopen the same game knowing it won’t work. its been 1 seconds without deadlock and i am already talking to my screen like it can hear me. rem and billy remain locked. the servers remain down. i remain here, slowly, visibly, completely going insane.
i start pacing. i sit back down. i alt-tab. i refresh the status page. i refresh it again like the pixels might rearrange themselves out of pity. nothing changes. rem is dying in my imagination. billy too. not because of lore, not because of gameplay—because i am physically incapable of selecting them. i could have played. i should have played. i was ready. i was focused. and now all that energy has nowhere to go so it just turns inward and starts chewing on my brain.
i tell myself it’s fine. it’s just a game. then i reopen deadlock again. then again. then once more just to be sure. i don’t want another game. i don’t want to be productive. i don’t want to lie down. i want one very specific thing: to select rem or billy and queue like nothing is wrong. instead i’m sitting here watching time stretch and warp, convinced the outage is lasting longer specifically because i noticed it.
every second feels louder. every minute feels intentional. this isn’t maintenance anymore, it’s a test. a psychological experiment to see how many times someone will reopen the same game knowing it won’t work. its been 1 seconds without deadlock and i am already talking to my screen like it can hear me. rem and billy remain locked. the servers remain down. i remain here, slowly, visibly, completely going insane.
надо будет завтра ещё замешать на правильное количество воды, а не как сегодня