Forwarded from Deranged Posting (SNEED)
๐ Ze Manifesto of Ze Future Automobile
By Klaus โBMWโ Schwab, Chief Dipstick Removal Officer
Chapter 1 โ Ze End of Ownership
U vill not own ze dipstick.
U vill not own ze car.
U vill lease, subscribe, und finance forever.
Freedom is inefficient. Happiness is mandatory.
Chapter 2 โ Ze Oil Sensor Doctrine
In ze old vorld, u pulled out a dirty metal stick.
In ze new vorld, ze sensor vill fail, und u vill go to ze dealer.
U vill clap as u pay โฌ399 for ze โoil level recalibration ritual.โ
Chapter 3 โ Ze Buttonless Paradise
Buttons are relics of ze past.
U vill touch ze screen, even to open ze glovebox.
If ze screen freezes, u vill reboot ze car like a Windows Vista laptop.
Chapter 4 โ Ze Subscription Plรคn
Heated seats are no longer free.
โฌ19.99 per month for ze warm cheeks.
โฌ9.99 per month for ze bright headlights.
โฌ4.99 per month for ze horn.
Chapter 5 โ Ze Engine of Tomorrow
Ze belt vill run in ze รถl.
Ze chain vill rattle like ze bones of your ancestors.
Und if it breaks, ze piston vill shake hands mit ze valve.
Progress has a price. Und zat price is โฌ7,499.
Chapter 6 โ Ze Customer Experience
U vill sit in ze dealership for 4 hours.
U vill drink bad coffee.
U vill leave โฌ2,000 poorer.
Und u vill say, โDanke, BMW.โ
Final Chapter โ Ze Happiness Directive
U vill not question.
U vill not resist.
U vill drive ze Ultimate Leasing Machineโข.
Und u vill be happy.
By Klaus โBMWโ Schwab, Chief Dipstick Removal Officer
Chapter 1 โ Ze End of Ownership
U vill not own ze dipstick.
U vill not own ze car.
U vill lease, subscribe, und finance forever.
Freedom is inefficient. Happiness is mandatory.
Chapter 2 โ Ze Oil Sensor Doctrine
In ze old vorld, u pulled out a dirty metal stick.
In ze new vorld, ze sensor vill fail, und u vill go to ze dealer.
U vill clap as u pay โฌ399 for ze โoil level recalibration ritual.โ
Chapter 3 โ Ze Buttonless Paradise
Buttons are relics of ze past.
U vill touch ze screen, even to open ze glovebox.
If ze screen freezes, u vill reboot ze car like a Windows Vista laptop.
Chapter 4 โ Ze Subscription Plรคn
Heated seats are no longer free.
โฌ19.99 per month for ze warm cheeks.
โฌ9.99 per month for ze bright headlights.
โฌ4.99 per month for ze horn.
Chapter 5 โ Ze Engine of Tomorrow
Ze belt vill run in ze รถl.
Ze chain vill rattle like ze bones of your ancestors.
Und if it breaks, ze piston vill shake hands mit ze valve.
Progress has a price. Und zat price is โฌ7,499.
Chapter 6 โ Ze Customer Experience
U vill sit in ze dealership for 4 hours.
U vill drink bad coffee.
U vill leave โฌ2,000 poorer.
Und u vill say, โDanke, BMW.โ
Final Chapter โ Ze Happiness Directive
U vill not question.
U vill not resist.
U vill drive ze Ultimate Leasing Machineโข.
Und u vill be happy.
๐4๐2
Forwarded from Deranged Posting (7\)
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๐ฅฐ29
Supposed Dallas ICE shooter with more gay liberal buzzwords scribbled on the casings.
>aim for ICE agents
>murks beaners instead
>"oops" *guessilldieshruggingstockphoto.jpg*
>aim for ICE agents
>murks beaners instead
>"oops" *guessilldieshruggingstockphoto.jpg*
๐คฃ26๐คท2๐คก1
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๐ฅฐ26๐คฃ10โค2๐1
Forwarded from Slavtards (Gastarbeiter)
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๐24
Forwarded from Kargach ๐ท๐บ๐ด๊ (Myron ๐งช๐งช๐งช Marsden)
๐ณ14๐ฅฐ8๐4๐ญ2โค1๐คฎ1๐ค1
Later virgins, got me a new Nigerian gf
๐คฃ46๐ซก8๐ฅฐ3