I do need to get a job

Idk I wish I was normal

I didn't do much of use today

I cut down this 55 gal drum in preparation to turn it into a foundry but that's really all I did all day

Idk what's it called

anhedonia?

Idk it's just been getting worse

For no reason

There are reasons obviously

I notice when anyone tries to interrupt me while I'm doing stuff I get unreasonably irritated and I appear like an asshole to those around me

I think it has something to do with my adhd

Like what's the point in doing any of this shit, what am I gonna gain skills? Skills that aren't backed up by a degree so no one's going to hire me? In top of that machines can do everything I do better I was gonna go into cybersecurity but now AI has basically destroyed the job market and my friends with fresh comp sci degrees can't even find jobs


What am I gonna go to college for engineering? And fail horribly? Like I did last time for cybersecurity

Like it's a delusional fever dream that doing any of this will get me anywhere tbh

I need to like

Go into a cabin in the forest without any internet or tech and just books for entertainment and I need to like reset myself

i hate this process

How writing feels on 4 hours of sleep and 2 energy drinks