Like I think “okay I could workout with this energy really well, or clean the kitchen or my room, or write or… maybe tomorrow”

Idk how to really fix that and it’s… bothering me to say the least

I do wanna put it to something as useful as I can tho, I’m gonna try to do that in just a little bit

I do need to get a job

Idk I wish I was normal

I didn't do much of use today

I cut down this 55 gal drum in preparation to turn it into a foundry but that's really all I did all day

Idk what's it called

anhedonia?

Idk it's just been getting worse

For no reason

There are reasons obviously

I notice when anyone tries to interrupt me while I'm doing stuff I get unreasonably irritated and I appear like an asshole to those around me

I think it has something to do with my adhd

Like what's the point in doing any of this shit, what am I gonna gain skills? Skills that aren't backed up by a degree so no one's going to hire me? In top of that machines can do everything I do better I was gonna go into cybersecurity but now AI has basically destroyed the job market and my friends with fresh comp sci degrees can't even find jobs


What am I gonna go to college for engineering? And fail horribly? Like I did last time for cybersecurity

Like it's a delusional fever dream that doing any of this will get me anywhere tbh