Chat almost made me work tomorrow, but at least one kind soul saved me

Some years of therapy to finally come up with the idea that the most painful and unbeatable problem is still "I'm capable, but lazy". Nothing changed since the first grade and it is as amazing as frustrating. ADHD really is a disability and when you are an adult it just disables the ability to live the way you want to. I want to do more than what I was doing when I was a child, but I still live the way I was.

Fun thing about this is that knowing a bunch of stuff doesn't help. Knowing that I should do stuff, that stuff is important for my life, my health, whatever else doesn't help a bit. Having an adult mind trapped inside executive and regulation functions of a child sometimes is unbearable.